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Kevin Amse: I Need Help

By Kevin Amse, translated by Paul Vincent
11 December 2019 2 min. reading time Friday Verses

This week’s Friday Verses are written by Kevin Amse. We translated Ik heb hulp nodig (I Need Help). This poem was first published in Dutch in Het Liegend Konijn, a magazine for contemporary Dutch-language poetry.

Kevin Amse (b. 1989, Ninove) is a poet who is at home both on paper and on the stage. He has made the Turing Top 100 and published in Het Liegend Konijn and Deus Ex Machina. In 2016 he won the Belgian team slam with the collective Slambacht. He was a four-time finalist in the Belgian Championship Poetry Slam and in 2017 won third place. In both 2016 and 2017, he made guest appearances at the European Championship Poetry Slam. In 2018 he concluded the programme De Zevende Dag (The Seventh Day) with a poem, which was his debut on national Belgian television.

I Need Help

Now not only my wife but also the meat that I eat
has too many hormones in it
I am looking for four attractive ladies ready to wash cars
that way we’ll collect money for victims of traffic accidents
caused by feminists.

Also wanted: an unseen mountain of T-shirts and trousers
to send to Africa with the message get stuffed!
Help me, and we’ll travel the world on Google Earth

we’ll squeeze slogans between elbows
darling I don’t drink too much, my belly is simply an economically strong region!
Will you help me? Then we’ll form the languor of a system

we’ll weld body parts together of people
I have on Facebook but whom I never speak to offline
since social media arrived I keep up too many contacts anyway.
I want to send de-friending messages, help me
and I won’t promise you friendship.

(Dutch version below the photo)

Kevin Amse Kevin Amse

Ik heb hulp nodig

Nu niet alleen mijn vrouw maar ook het vlees dat ik eet
een teveel aan hormonen heeft
zoek ik vier aantrekkelijke dames die auto’s willen wassen
zo zamelen we geld in voor slachtoffers van verkeersongevallen
veroorzaakt door feministen.

Ook gezocht: een ongeziene berg T-shirts en broeken
om op te sturen naar Afrika met de boodschap krijg de klere!
Help me, dan reizen we de wereld rond via Google Earth

knellen we slagzinnen tussen ellebogen
schat ik drink niet te veel, mijn buik is gewoon een economisch sterke regio!
Help je me? Dan vormen we de loomheid van een systeem

lassen we lichaamsdelen aan elkaar van mensen
die ik op Facebook heb maar waartegen ik offline nooit spreek
sinds sociale media onderhoud ik toch te veel contacten.
Ik wil ontvriend-me-verzoeken versturen, help me
en ik beloof je geen vriendschap.

Kevin Amse

Kevin Amse

poet

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